Mommoisseurs : Recipes | Wine | Camaraderie

Recipes | Wine | Tips & Tricks | Camaraderie | #momlife

A Valentine’s Broken Heart

I had no doubt my heart would be broken that Valentine’s Day in 2007.  You see, I’d given birth to my baby girl on January 21st.  Just over three weeks passed and I was standing on the doorstep of a woman I’d barely even spoken with, ready to hand over my precious newborn. 
   I stood there for what seemed like eternity, staring at the door.  It was a beige door, framed by a pretty, upscale brick house.  I guess that should’ve made me feel better, in some weird, only in today’s-society kind of way.  She had a nice house, so surely—she was a good person?  That’s the way it works, right?
   I kept staring, holding my sleeping infant close to my chest.  I’d dressed her special that day, in cute little jeans with a heart on them and a matching heart onesie.  Being a new mother, I didn’t know the obvious…that jeans were uncomfortable and that babies actually preferred to be in soft clothing.  Well, at least she festively matched for the holiday on her first day of daycare.
   I reached my hand up to knock, but then I heard Callie whimper and quickly pulled away.  I patted her soft head of dark, messy hair.  Why was I dropping her off only after three weeks I again asked myself?   Oh yes…that’s right.  I had to.  I’d been working in an insurance agency for about two years.  I only had three weeks of time to take off, and with my husband and me struggling to make ends meet …that’s all I could take.  Besides, I was lucky—wasn’t I?  Most of the other ladies in my office with children had taken only two weeks off…
   Abruptly, a short, beautiful Puerto Rican woman opened the door.  I wondered if I’d even knocked?  Her eyes filled with confusion as she waved me inside.  “Come on in, Trina. How long have you been out here?”
   She seemed to sense my fears, or at least knew of them due to past experience, and gestured for me to sit on her couch.  Her white carpet looked impeccable, not a spot anywhere.  I looked around at the five other young children playing with toys, wondering how on earth she kept her house so perfect.  Not a spec of dust anywhere on her expensive furniture.  Was this a good sign?
   I didn’t think so.
   We chatted for a few minutes, mostly me reminding Aurea of Callie’s schedule. I laugh now at this notion—schedule?  At three weeks?  There was no schedule!  And the gleam in Aurea’s eyes said she knew this, too.
   I hugged my tiny little baby girl close to my chest, and then passed her away for the first time.  Aurea immediately set her in a bouncy chair and bustled off into the kitchen, which made me only want to stay longer.  She should be held!  All the time!  I tried to stay strong and forced myself to leave.  I drove away, crying.  And not just a tear or two…real tears.  A veritable deluge washing down my face.  What kind of terrible mother leaves her baby at such a young age?  What kind of life was I already setting her up for?  Little did I know, it was only the beginning of the long list of failures I’d blame myself for as a mother.
   I did call to check on Callie about four times that day; thankfully, Aurea was patient and friendly.  Although I was concerned about my leaving my daughter, I knew deep down, she was in great hands.  I’d specially picked Aurea, who had a huge list of references.  There is about three or four ladies who did daycare in the town where I worked.  They worked together and were friends—all coming with high recommendations and all typically full and taking no more kids.  I still think Aurea was a huge blessing.
   Sometimes, as mothers, we have to know what’s best for our children…even if it’s tough.  I believe that Aurea brought something to, not only my child, but my family, that I couldn’t.  She was patient, loving, smart, and incredibly experienced in the area of child-rearing and care-taking.  By the time Callie was two, she was taking naps at the same time every day.  She was cleaning up and putting all her toys back where they belonged.  She was eating a well-balanced lunch and not complaining a lick about it.  She was reading books and singing songs I never thought a two-year-old could sing.  And she had a heart of gold and a giving nature that I believe only partly could’ve been born in her and partly taught to her.  

Print Friendly

Related Posts

You Might Also Like

Keeping Up with the Cleavers…or Not So Much

Squashing this all-American dream

Man publicly shames 3-Year-old daughter

Give It Up Ladies-No Mom is Perfect!

The Fall of a Legendary Football Coach…and More

Katrina & Leah: The story of us

Starbucks anyone?

Home James Home

Why you should take responsiblity for your child’s success in school

There’s No Such Thing as a Modest Mother

Another Embarrassing Pediatrician Story

What moms want from a President

Thanks to ALL OF YOU!

Here I go again…Models & Photoshop

A party fit for a 2-year-old

Wine Review: Pacific Rim Riesling

What I’ve Learned from New Years Resolutions

The Precious Age of 6

Doing it All

Sister Wives ~ Paving the Way for Plural Marriage Acceptance?

Babysitting woes & Eric Church

Old friends and road trippin’

The end to an epic summer

The terrible twos begin…

The gift of giving: Our first contribution to our charities

Happy 2nd birthday to my baby boy!

Is it Colic, Acid Reflux, or Cow’s Milk Protein Allergy?

Dear Lord

A NEW New Years Resolution

Then there was Kindergarten…

Reason #1 ~ I am a Good Mother! Cheers!

The Wedding of a Lifetime

Different kids, different ages, different stages…It’s all good!

Reason #6 • I continue to set unreasonable expectations for myself…and therefore I often fail.

Optimistic? Or just plain ol’ dumb parenting?

Mother’s Day around the world

National Moms Relaxation Day: A day of pure indulgence

Saving/Budgeting…It’s Easier Than I Thought!

The New Era of Babysitting

Skinny girls are not glamour girls

My Guilty Pleasure: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Everyday Skillet Lasagna

The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces

Cardinal Rule #1: Thou shalt not sleep in thy mother’s bed

Body image & the world of parenting

Reason #33: How Do I Explain Death to My Baby?

Our book cover: God closes one door and opens another

Are We Seriously Already Having This Conversation?

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Why moms shouldn’t get sick

Or…Not Doing It All

Wine: How much is too much?

Another Easter…A New Spring

Bossy Mommy

Being Charitable has NEVER Been Easier

Mommy, that dream catcher you gave me doesn’t work!

The New Age of Dinosaurs

The people who say you can’t

How did I forget that potty training sucks?

Cheese Stuffed Beef Rolls

Enjoying the beautiful things in life

Rooster: Our Newest Family Member

The Seven Year Itch

The Down & Dirty on True Whole Grain

Autism Pirate

Working Mommies: It’s Time to Let Go of The Guilt!

What is it with bad boys anyway?

What Is It You Fiending For?

A Fabulous Epp Family Christmas

Penn State Scandal~It’s Time for Mommies to Take a Stand

Monster in Pink

Finally! The Jones Family is Back…

Who gets sick on vacation, anyway?

Creating your own hybrid family

Why do boys have tails?

And…now he’s 3

Reason #39: I’m Pretty Sure Everyone Has Seen or Touched My Boobs Now

Preschool Graduation

Memorial Day 2012

Finding Your Own Identity as a Mommy

Kiddos & plane rides = Disaster

The Heavy: A Mother, a Daughter, A Diet – A Mother Goes to Extremes

Happy Birthday Callie Jo!

Leave a Reply