Mommoisseurs : Recipes | Wine | Camaraderie

Recipes | Wine | Tips & Tricks | Camaraderie | #momlife

Summer12 163

Creating your own hybrid family

I’ve always wanted tons of kids.  That is of course, until I had kids.  I realized as much as I adore my children, I’m not the mother that can have a ton of little ones running around and maintain her sanity.  I came to the conclusion I love the idea of a large family, better than the actual number of bodies.  I pictured big Christmases and Thanksgivings, with little ones running around and me cooking a huge meal.  It was great, at least, as a dream.

Having two little kids is like constant chaos.  We’ve talked about having a third but sometimes I think you have to accept the mother you are, the mother you can be, and the parts of you that you are willing to compromise.  Good mothers do this…bad mothers don’t.  So while I do feel a bit guilty about realizing that I’m not made for a huge family, I understand this is part of being a good person and accepting who I am.

For the fourth of July I went camping with my friend Amber and her family.  We have kids the same age and doing anything with Amber is just easy.  She’s supportive, understanding, non-judgmental, and laughs at my many flaws and even embraces them.  She’s made me realize that friendship should be easy, not work.  Even though it rained every night, causing us to corral four children in small tents and entertain them until it dried out (which, it never really did), we had a great time.

I thought about the time I was explaining to Amber about having children.  I was discussing my stresses about wanting to have more kids because I’d always dreamed of this bigger family, but how I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle.  Even typing it hurts a little because I still am not quite ready to give up that dream.  She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Trina, you don’t have to have a lot of kids to have a big family.  Friends are the family you get to choose.  Create your own family.  Have the big holidays you want, with your hybrid family.”

This thought had never occurred to me.  How brilliant!  And why not!?  Sometimes, or maybe even often times, you have a family that you not only wouldn’t have chose but that you don’t get along with, period.  Sometimes you add step-family into that mix and you get a whole lotta crazy going on.  Or, maybe you have the perfect family (sure you do!) and they live somewhere else.  The idea is a great one; one that I’m embracing.

I don’t care what anyone says; friendships should be easy.  We work on our marriages, on our family- we work on ourselves.  We shouldn’t have to work at friendship.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about being you and support your hopes and dreams.  Spend holidays and your free time with those that you love and that make you enjoy life.  Time is precious…so if you dream of having a big family but don’t – make one.  A hybrid family is that family you always dreamed of having…you just have to create it yourself.   ~ Trina

Print Friendly

Related Posts

You Might Also Like

Reason #1 ~ I am a Good Mother! Cheers!

Are We Seriously Already Having This Conversation?

The evolution of my sons love for being in the water

Here I go again…Models & Photoshop

Is it Colic, Acid Reflux, or Cow’s Milk Protein Allergy?

The people who say you can’t

While they dream

Vintage girls: Moms need their best girlfriends

Bedtime battles continued

Competitive mommies: What are you preparing for the preschool Thanksgiving feast?

The New Era of Babysitting

Keeping Up with the Cleavers…or Not So Much

Go, Mommy, Go! Be your own child-rearing cheerleader!

Memorial Day 2012

Another Easter…A New Spring

Has your doc ever tried to smooch you?

A letter to my son on his fourth birthday

Colorado Springs on fire

Reason #6 • I continue to set unreasonable expectations for myself…and therefore I often fail.

A Florida Speer Family Christmas

A NEW New Years Resolution

Butterfinger Ice Cream

Holy competition, Batman!

The end to an epic summer

Today’s forecast: Scattered mom likely

Wine: How much is too much?

Optimistic? Or just plain ol’ dumb parenting?

Thanks to ALL OF YOU!

Best girlfriends: Then, now and when we’re old!

Happy Birthday Callie Jo!

Take chances and find yourself

Kiddos & plane rides = Disaster

Squashing this all-American dream

Autism Pirate

Dear Lord

Sister Wives ~ Paving the Way for Plural Marriage Acceptance?

Oh My Gosh…you’re 3!

6 Reasons moms with little ones should go to church

Home James Home

The Seven Year Itch

Old friends and road trippin’

Being Charitable has NEVER Been Easier

A Valentine’s Broken Heart

Cheese Stuffed Beef Rolls

5 groovy ways to keep your kids entertained while being hunkered down during a hurricane

The fun language of a two-year-old

Moms raising boys and their endless energy

Katrina & Leah: The story of us

Bliss to be savored

Penn State Scandal~It’s Time for Mommies to Take a Stand

After the massacre: What can you be sure of…

The Wedding of a Lifetime

Or…Not Doing It All

Our book cover: God closes one door and opens another

Change the way you think about food with Bethenny Frankel’s “Naturally, Thin”

Monster in Pink

A Fabulous Epp Family Christmas

The Fall of a Legendary Football Coach…and More

Why I left preschool crying…

And…now he’s 3

Desperate times call for desperate measures

You know you’re a mommy of young boys when…

Working Mommies: It’s Time to Let Go of The Guilt!

How did I forget that potty training sucks?

5 groovy ways to keep your kids entertained during a hurricane

Man publicly shames 3-Year-old daughter

Wine Review: Pacific Rim Riesling

The terrible twos begin…

Happy 2nd birthday to my baby boy!

Finally! The Jones Family is Back…

Skinny girls are not glamour girls

Why do boys have tails?

The Precious Age of 6

Finding Your Own Identity as a Mommy

Rooster: Our Newest Family Member

What vacation is like after you have your first baby

Delivering grace: Teaching lessons that will last a lifetime

The gift of giving: Our first contribution to our charities

My Guilty Pleasure: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

A mommy’s school bus jitters

What is it with bad boys anyway?

National Moms Relaxation Day: A day of pure indulgence

Cardinal Rule #1: Thou shalt not sleep in thy mother’s bed

Why moms shouldn’t get sick

Bossy Mommy

Mommy, that dream catcher you gave me doesn’t work!

Cooking with kids

Why you should wear a Hoo Rag

A party fit for a 2-year-old

Reason #33: How Do I Explain Death to My Baby?

Who gets sick on vacation, anyway?

Why you should take responsiblity for your child’s success in school

Then there was Kindergarten…

Different kids, different ages, different stages…It’s all good!

The Down & Dirty on True Whole Grain

Enjoying today, cherishing yesterday and looking forward to tomorrow

Preschool Graduation

I’m not lovin’ it!

Behind the scenes: For your enjoyment only

Mother’s Day around the world

The Heavy: A Mother, a Daughter, A Diet – A Mother Goes to Extremes

Doing it All

What Is It You Fiending For?

There’s No Such Thing as a Modest Mother

A mommy’s school bus jitters

Reason #39: I’m Pretty Sure Everyone Has Seen or Touched My Boobs Now

Enjoying the beautiful things in life

Starbucks anyone?

Babysitting woes & Eric Church

Samuel L. Jackson’s narration of Adam Mansbach’s “Go the F*ck to Sleep”

15 Fun ideas for kid lunches

The Case for Beer: Why you should enjoy it and enjoy it right

Their happiness in our heart

Guest Post: Road tripping with your kids without the strife

Is baby-making making you crazy?

Don’t stress this holiday season: It’s actually already begun

Saving/Budgeting…It’s Easier Than I Thought!

What moms want from a President

Body image & the world of parenting

The New Age of Dinosaurs

The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces

Another Embarrassing Pediatrician Story

Give It Up Ladies-No Mom is Perfect!

Covenant Cookies: A gift of delectable bites; inspirational messages

What I’ve Learned from New Years Resolutions

Why are some children’s movies just so sad?

Everyday Skillet Lasagna

Leave a Reply