Mommoisseurs : Recipes | Wine | Camaraderie

Recipes | Wine | Tips & Tricks | Camaraderie | #momlife


Has your doc ever tried to smooch you?

This is how my doctor appointment went today…
This was my second official visit with this browned-haired Charleston-area doc.   Luckily, I didn’t have to disrobe or even put on a gown.  I thought it was strange that he laid me on the floor, though he did offer a pillow.  He proceeded to inspect my head, neck and arms.  A very kind soul, he kept rubbing my forehead and telling me it’d all be alright.  Honestly, I didn’t know anything was wrong.
“Does your penis hurt?” he asks.
“I don’t have a penis.  I’m a girl.”
“You do.  You have a little penis.”  He says, matter-of-factly.
“No, girls don’t have penises.”
“It’s okay,” he assures.  “You’ll feel better soon.  There’s a machine right here.”  He then covers me with a blanket and pulls it up under my chin.  He reaches across me to pull up the blanket, inadvertently choking me with his elbow several times. 
He instructs, “You need to cooperate.”  I thought I was.  Then I wondered where he learned that word.  Cooperate.
He gently touches my cheek.  “Awww.  You’ll feel better soon.  I’m a doctor.”  I’m holding back my hysterics now, with a few chuckles slipping out.
“Don’t cry, you will be okay.”  He kisses my cheek and then one eyelid, “I love you, mommy.  I’ll be your doctor everytime.”

Print Friendly

Related Posts

You Might Also Like

The Heavy: A Mother, a Daughter, A Diet – A Mother Goes to Extremes

Another Easter…A New Spring

Cardinal Rule #1: Thou shalt not sleep in thy mother’s bed

Competitive mommies: What are you preparing for the preschool Thanksgiving feast?

Why are some children’s movies just so sad?

And…now he’s 3

Change the way you think about food with Bethenny Frankel’s “Naturally, Thin”

Preschool Graduation

Different kids, different ages, different stages…It’s all good!

Is baby-making making you crazy?

A mommy’s school bus jitters

Enjoying today, cherishing yesterday and looking forward to tomorrow

The evolution of my sons love for being in the water

Who gets sick on vacation, anyway?

The gift of giving: Our first contribution to our charities

What is it with bad boys anyway?

Butterfinger Ice Cream

Creating your own hybrid family

Samuel L. Jackson’s narration of Adam Mansbach’s “Go the F*ck to Sleep”

Guest Post: Road tripping with your kids without the strife

What moms want from a President

I’m not lovin’ it!

A mommy’s school bus jitters

Then there was Kindergarten…

Book Excerpt: Reason #1 • I am a good mother! Cheers!

15 Fun ideas for kid lunches

Keeping Up with the Cleavers…or Not So Much

Covenant Cookies: A gift of delectable bites; inspirational messages

Vintage girls: Moms need their best girlfriends

Take chances and find yourself

Enjoying the beautiful things in life

What vacation is like after you have your first baby

Magnetic Legs – The Ever-Clingy Toddler

The New Age of Dinosaurs

What has been your BEST summer moment with your family so far?

Why you should take responsiblity for your child’s success in school

The terrible twos begin…

Behind the scenes: For your enjoyment only

“Hollywood Moms Night” – The Next Best Thing To Going Out With Your Girlfriends!

The fun language of a two-year-old

A party fit for a 2-year-old

5 groovy ways to keep your kids entertained during a hurricane

A Florida Speer Family Christmas

Please Promise To – What We Provide Them With Today May Brighten The Path To Our Promises

Hurricane Irene in Charleston

11 recipes that increase breast milk supply

6 Reasons moms with little ones should go to church

Starbucks anyone?

Optimistic? Or just plain ol’ dumb parenting?

Holiday Recipe Spectacular: Pumpkin Spice Muffins

Their happiness in our heart

Today’s forecast: Scattered mom likely

Oh My Gosh…you’re 3!

Why you should wear a Hoo Rag

In The Eyes Of My Zealand – Happy 2nd Birthday, Baby!

Couponing, Really? You Don’t Have To Be An Extreme Couponer To Save Money

For Reality in Parenting Try NBC’s “Up All Night” – New Fall Lineup

The end to an epic summer

You know you’re a mommy of young boys when…

A letter to my son on his fourth birthday

Desperate times call for desperate measures

The Case for Beer: Why you should enjoy it and enjoy it right

Creating Holiday Magic – When You Can’t Afford To Buy It

Man publicly shames 3-Year-old daughter

Kiddos & plane rides = Disaster

Why I left preschool crying…

A Letter To My Son On His Third Birthday

Holy competition, Batman!

Bedtime battles continued

How did I forget that potty training sucks?

Why do boys have tails?

Announcing Twitter Party on Wine Wednesday 12.12.12 #MustHaveWine

The Precious Age of 6

Memorial Day 2012

Babysitting woes & Eric Church

Let us be your wine confidants

Don’t stress this holiday season: It’s actually already begun

Following another sleepless night…

Squashing this all-American dream

Cooking with kids

Why moms shouldn’t get sick

Entertain, Cook a Turkey and Remain Stress-Free This Thanksgiving!

While they dream

Moms raising boys and their endless energy

After the massacre: What can you be sure of…

Colorado Springs on fire

Mommy, that dream catcher you gave me doesn’t work!

Budgeting, Credit Scores and Responsibility – These Things Can Be Learned

Mother’s Day around the world

Delivering grace: Teaching lessons that will last a lifetime

Go, Mommy, Go! Be your own child-rearing cheerleader!

5 groovy ways to keep your kids entertained while being hunkered down during a hurricane

Bliss to be savored

Today’s forecast: Scattered mom likely

Here We Move Again – Leah’s Move #10!

Happy 2nd birthday to my baby boy!

Best girlfriends: Then, now and when we’re old!

Rooster: Our Newest Family Member

Leave a Reply